I had your girls the other day. They decided to make a video of you. Alissa picked out the song and all three of them worked on picking out the pictures. Just to let you know, they love the one of you flipping off the camera and the one of you lifting your shirt up. In the beginning and the end of the song they talked to you. They told how how much they miss you and love you. It was SO hard not to cry in front of them. I started to tear up and Alissa caught me. I told her it was because I yawned. I'd say that had to be one of the hardest things since your funeral. I don't know what to say to the kids. They have to go the rest of their lives without you and I don't know what to say to make it better. Destiny thinks that you are going to come back after your done talking to god. Jeremiah wants someone to call heaven so he can talk to you. Alissa talks to your picture every night, and I think this is making Hayle turn cold. She just says your not coming back and gets a very hard look on her face. And Joshua is so small. I'm afraid he won't remember you at all. It's just overwhelming to think about. The girls ask me quiestions and I don't know how to answer a lot of them. I always make sure to bring up the good memories of you and they usually tell me stories about silly things you did and we all get a good laugh. But when they ask me the other kind of quiestions, what am I supposed to do. Their so confused and hurt and sad already. I don't know what to say to them. Alissa talked to me the other day about some stuff that's been bothering her lately. Randell, it was stuff that a little girl her age should not have to worry about, ever!! She came to me because she knows that I'm not going to pick anyone's side but her's and she know's I'm not going to tell everyone what we talked about. Randell, she needs you so bad. I told her that no matter what, you will always live inside her heart. I also told her that the little feeling she gets inside right before she does something is you. That finally got her to smile. But what am I supposed to say to her when she has bad nightmares or when her wedding day comes and she's heartbroken because your not there. What am I supposed to say when Destiny finally realizes that you can't come back? I thought the funeral was hard but as the time goes bye it only seems to get harder. Your kids are so young. Their just starting out their lives and they have to deal with this everyday from here on out. IT's like you died all over again everyday. We all got to spend years with you. We all got to really know you. But the kids didn't. You were taken too quick. I know everything happens for a reason but I can't figure this reason out. Please stay with your kids and help them to understand when the time is right. Miss you Randell.